The C word
Cancer.
My husband can’t even say the word out loud; it scares him that bad.
But the truth is almost everyone I know has personally been affected by it.
Every time I hear news about someone getting diagnosed I go through the same cycle of emotions.
Fear. Sadness. Anger. Confusion.
And I start to question everything.
Why???
That is always my biggest question.
Why them?
Especially when you hear about a young healthy person who has never smoked or drank or done any of the other cancer-causing things, getting that diagnosis.
I was talking to my friend about this and she said, “cancer doesn’t discriminate.”
This leads me to believe that cancer is just something that happens.
To babies, children, middle-aged, the elderly, rich people, poor people, and everyone in between.
It just happens.
And I HATE that it ‘just happens.’
It’s like the stupid saying, ‘life isn’t fair.’
But why does my brain believe that life SHOULD be fair?
That bad things shouldn’t happen to good people.
I guess this is why so many people believe in the ‘just world hypothesis’ even tho it’s completely flawed.
Who wants to believe that the world is full of uncertainty and randomness?
Who wants to believe nothing we do good OR bad matters?
Not me.
Life is definitely unpredictable.
And life can be totally unfair.
But sometimes life can be predictable, and fair, and absolutely beautiful.
And although I wouldn’t wish a cancer diagnosis on my worst enemy, it does give everyone a chance to pause and reflect on their own life.
Are you doing what you love?
Are you surrounded by people you love?
Are you loving your one and only life?
Life is too damn short to answer ‘no’ to those important questions.
And right now, I can answer yes to all of them.
So, I guess for now, I am doing okay.
But I also know that in the future that can change.
And if it does, I have to believe I will be okay then too.
